1. This isn’t breaking news.
2. You spelled “Seinfeld” wrong.
Otherwise, great work.
I’m pretty sure CNN is now a very clever parody of a news network.
CBS has just declared war on the heartland of America. No longer is comedy going to be a covert assault on traditional American values, conservatives. Now, it’s just wide out in the open. What this hire means is a redefinition of what is funny and a redefinition of what is comedy.
He’s talking, of course, about Stephen Colbert … who hates “traditional American values” so much that he teaches Sunday school.
I can only imagine that Rush is upset about CBS choosing Colbert to replace Letterman because he believes the real traditional values are taught in synagogues on Saturdays.
I’m going to go ahead and guess that Rush doesn’t know the first thing about Colbert — which is bolstered by the fact that he calls him “Kohl-burt” rather than “Kohl-bear” — except that his Comedy Central persona satirizes conservatives. And that was enough for Rush to give his well-reasoned opinion.
On the plus side, at least his ridiculous opinion wasn’t as off-the-wall as this.
A few mornings a week, I wake up to a comment on my blog that’s so outlandishly stupid or offensive that I think to myself, “This is obviously spam or trolling.” So I delete it.
Amazingly, nine times out of ten, the commenter publishes an identical comment almost immediately after I’ve deleted the original comment. This lets me know that it’s not spam, that somewhere out there is a veritable army of trolls with no appreciation for decency or the English language, and that these trolls are so accustomed to having their comments blocked that they copy their comments so they can just paste them back in after they’ve been deleted. I’ve learned that they’ll continue to do this until they’re banned from commenting because, apparently, this is what they do with their time.
The internet is an wondrous place.
You know who likes my blogging?
How is it possible that we haven’t talked about this yet?
Oh, to be able to find the transcript and find out what was going on in this scene. Here are some possibilities:
Meir jokes that Abba Eban and Henry Kissinger seem to be separated at birth. Nixon finds all jokes about Kissinger to be hilarious.
Meir jokes about growing up in Milwaukee and how well it prepared her for living in the Middle East. Nixon finds all jokes about Milwaukee to be hilarious.
Meir jokes about how in the 1960s and 1970s, politicians can do and say anything they want without any ramifications. Nixon finds all jokes about ramifications to be hilarious.
Later, someone told Nixon that Meir was Jewish and he felt bad about himself for laughing at her jokes because, you know, Nixon and Jews.
I don’t exactly know how spam email works, but ever since my university switched over to Microsoft to provide us with our email service, I’ve been getting something on the order of 100 spam messages each day.
They’re an interesting window, I suppose, into what my age, my browser history, or my .edu address mean to spammers. Here are the top subject lines from today:
Make clear Vision without contacts A reality Get lASIK.
Protect, your loved ones…for a low, monthly cost
Compare your Car Policy against these today
Use *cloud Storage for Global Efficiency.
WoodWorkingMadeEasy: Check out this unreal video
Fly On Your Own Time. Browse private-Jet* Flights.
Weird food-KILLED My *blood* pressure
Charter a Private Yacht*
Do not miss out! On the BitCoin craze
One Tip To A Tiny Belly - REVEALED by Dr. Oz.
Cut Your Prep Time in the Kitchen with a Few Taps.
Apparently, I’ve rich enough that I might need a private jet or yacht, but I’m also old enough that I might also be in the market for life insurance, LASIK, reducing my blood pressure, and Dr. Oz’s belly-reduction plan. Basically, the spammers know me perfectly.
My favorite was “Check out this unreal video” … which was about woodworking.
For the Princess Leia in your life.
Just for the next little while, I’ve changed the name of my blog from “Running Chicken” to “Ari Kohen’s Blog” … just to make it easier for people to figure out whose blog it is they’re reading and to then spell my name correctly when they quote me.
I’m thinking about possible subtitles now.
Maybe “The Blog of Ari Kohen” or “The Once and Future Chicken.” Some suggestions I’ve gotten already include “Chickens of Future Past,” “Kohen Blog,” and “The Kohen.”
The New Orleans Pelicans (formerly the New Orleans Hornets, formerly the Oklahoma City Hornets, formerly the Charlotte Hornets) are being criticized once again for unveiling a terrifying mascot. In the past it was the “Pierre the Pelican,” who was accused of haunting the nightmares of children and adults alike. This time, of course, it’s their ghoulish Mardi Gras-themed “King Cake Baby,” who is undeniably one of the creepiest things I’ve ever seen.
But rather than suggesting that the New Orleans mascot designers are “doing it wrong,” I want to argue that they’ve really hit on something here. We live in an era dominated by the presumption that mascots should be cute, cuddly, and cartoonish, that they should appeal to young children. Why not, instead, use your mascot to strike terror into the hearts of your enemies?!
In that spirit, I say, “Well played, New Orleans, with your horrifying, soul-swallowing baby and pelican.”