That’s a three day old tweet from the organizer of the brilliant “Open Carry March on Washington,” advising his ~20,000 followers to shoot at government agents if they feel their rights are being threatened by them.

As the Facebook page (created by the very same Adam Kokesh) for the event notes, “There’s a remote chance that there will be violence as there has been from government before, and I think it should be clear [emphasis mine] that if anyone involved in this event is approached respectfully by agents of the state, they will submit to arrest without resisting.”

Yeah, I can’t imagine how it might not have been clear.

This is a joke, right?

I was so sure it was a joke.

And then I saw this article in Business Insider called “The Internet Is Trying To Figure Out If This Bacon Mouthwash Is Real Or Fake”:

Scope put out a website for a brand new product set to debut around April 1: Bacon mouthwash.

Mashable notes that“Procter & Gamble, Scope’s parent company, claims this is a real product.”

Scope is tweeting about the product nonstop, and themouthwash does have its own product page on Scope’s main website.

According to the FAQ: “No pigs are harmed during the making of Scope Bacon. The bacon taste you’ll find in Scope Bacon is a perfectly healthy synthetic flavoring.”

But this product seems too amazingly strange to be true.

Is it good or bad when no one can figure out whether or not your ridiculous-sounding new product is real or fake?

I am clearly living on a different planet from these people.

They think to themselves: The President is coming to my state to encourage people to support legislation that he supports: “MY FREEDOM IS BEING VIOLATED!” and “HURRY UP AND GET MORE WEAPONS RIGHT AWAY!” and “THIS ISN’T HOW GOVERNMENT SHOULD WORK!” and “LET’S PROTEST HIM!”

I guess this means Facebook’s back to normal.

I started something of a firestorm on Facebook earlier this week, when I made the above comment. I was reacting to the use of tablets in my two-year-old son’s day care classroom, which hasn’t been explained or discussed with parents … though some people seem to have read it as a critique of their parenting.

I should begin by stressing that I don’t want to be read as criticizing anyone’s parenting. If you want to give your child an iPad, that’s your business. My son doesn’t use my iPad but that doesn’t make me a better parent than you.

I don’t have any sort of hang-up about technology and I don’t think there’s something inherently good or inherently bad about technology for kids. Nor do I have a problem with using technology when it’s integrated into a curriculum for a purpose. My problem is when I see technology being used simply because it’s new or because the kids seem to like it, without a clear reason for its use.

This piece by Hanna Rosin in the Atlantic is a good companion to the discussion; it sets out some of the benefits and pitfalls of screen time without casting aspersion on anyone. I was struck by the group of app developers (who are also parents) who don’t allow their kids to have more than a half hour of screen time and, of course, by the good reminder that all screen time need not necessarily be passive screen time.

Still, I’m sticking to my point about using technology in a classroom of two-year-olds. I don’t think it’s appropriate unless it’s demonstrably being integrated into the curriculum that the day care employs for that age group. I’d rather have him drawing a bunch of squiggly lines with crayons, sliding down the slide, running around and inventing games, playing with toys, and reading books with his teachers … the things I would be doing with him if I wasn’t at work.

Today in Facebook gun nuttery: Bathtubs are more dangerous than guns.

This was my reply:

I like the way you switched up the stats at the end to make the point you want to make. Let’s switch it back: How many people per year are killed by guns? I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that it’s many more than are killed by bathtubs and falling out of bed. Oh, wait, I don’t have to guess because we actually have numbers for this readily availabe: It was 31,328 in 2010. That’s significantly more than all of the other deaths you describe from all of the things in your list combined. So … do you still think “bathtubs, beds, hammers, and knives” are “more deadly” than guns?

Shockingly, not a single wingnut on the thread clicked “Like” on my comment.

I love the idea that keeping a fire extinguisher under the kitchen sink to put out a food flare-up instead of calling the fire department is exactly the same as carrying a gun around with me so that I can shoot at anyone who looks at me sideways without worrying about police or laws.

Think about it. 

If you don’t spend at least a minute watching me argue with right-wing conspiracy theorists, how will you know how good your own lives are?!

I’m just going to go ahead and buy this mug now so my kids can give it to me when they’re in middle school.

Am I overconfident? I don’t think so.

You see, I envision the day when my kids are browsing the internet for ammo to use against schoolyard bullies … and they come across all the tweets and Facebook updates from the parents of those kids.

And my kids will run to me, wrap their little arms around me, and smother me with kisses … all because I was a kind parent and decided not to write about any of their efforts at potty training.

As any parent — and many a babysitter — knows, potty training is pure comedy gold. Parents and kids say and do a lot of very strange and hilarious things in order to get potty training started and to keep it going.

But my wife and I have had a policy in place that ensures neither of us will capitalize on the comedic stylings of potty training efforts in our household: There can be no blog posts, no tweets, and no Facebook updates about potty training.

For we know that the short term laughter and even good will of a well-placed potty training anecdote can never be worth the long term horror of a child who grows up to find that his or her potty training has been a subject of discussion for many hundreds (or even thousands) of people … and then preserved online forever.

And so, when I read about the bizarre thing someone’s adorable child said as she happily sat on the potty and I know that my own anecdotes would surely win me hordes of Twitter followers, I just sit back and think how good my coffee’s going to taste in my new mug.

If you have five minutes today and really want to get enraged about something, I recommend this Facebook page.

Nearly 3 million people have “Liked” it, and lots and lots of them comment on all of the “news” that the page owner posts. Plus, an added bonus: You get to see how many of your Facebook friends “Like” it.

HT: Matt Langdon.

When I was having a little discussion on Facebook about the fine that Hobby Lobby will soon incur because its owners don’t understand that a) businesses aren’t religious organizations and b) emergency contraception doesn’t cause abortions, I managed to incur the wrath of liberty-loving Colorado State Senator Tim Neville, who compared the Affordable Care Act with the Fugitive Slave Law of 1850 … since mandating that employers provide access to health insurance and mandating the return of slaves to their owners are pretty much identical.

Not only is the Affordable Care Act tantamount to slavery, he notes, it’s also socialism … which leads inexorably to slavery.

According to Neville, one should never have to pay a tax to operate a business nor should one ever have to violate the tenets of his religious faith … even, it seems, if those tenets are entirely made up by the individual or violate the rights of others.

Neville concluded his lesson in liberty by arguing that a far better option than the health care that’s subsidized by my employer would be for me “to visit ehealthinsurance.com and choose a high deductible insurance plan with a health savings account, allowing opportunities to lower your cost of insurance by choosing a policy that covers what you need.”

So … the best way to increase liberty for everyone is for me to pay more for my health care needs. Because let’s not fool ourselves, that’s what “a high deductible insurance plan” means: When I go to the doctor for a well visit, I pay that high deductible. When my child has a persistent cough and then later an ear infection and then later needs vaccinations or to see a specialist, I pay that high deductible and then I pay it again and then I pay it again. When my wife needs surgery, I pay that high deductible.

And I’d better plan at the beginning of the year for any and every health care needs that we might have all year long. Because if I plan wrong, we might end up bankrupt. Or maybe we’ll only have to decide not to vaccinate our kids since it’s prohibitively expensive.

In Neville’s world, this makes sense … either because he has a lot of money or because he’s not worried about having a bunch of health care needs this year. Or both!

This is liberty and anything else is slavery, as far as Neville is concerned. No one should ever have to do anything he doesn’t want to do … except pay a high deductible for every single health issue that arises. This is, apparently, the only way that Hobby Lobby can maintain its corporate religious freedom: By not paying fines for freely choosing to deny coverage of certain reproductive health care options to female employees … because those women shouldn’t be making those reproductive health choices in the first place (since Neville and others like him believe they are “morally problematic).

Incidentally, here’s a little news item about the way that Neville got appointed to his state senate seat:

A Republican vacancy committee on Thursday night denied veteran state Rep. Jim Kerr, R-Littleton, a promotion to the upper chamber by the narrowest of margins and instead chose activist Tim Neville to take over for retiring Senate Minority Leader Mike Kopp. But the proceedings turned sour after the 60-58 vote was confirmed in a supervised recount as Kerr supporters charged that a handful of Republicans who should have voted hadn’t been notified of the meeting.

If you read any of the news about Hobby Lobby and its fight against (some forms of) contraception, you won’t be able to avoid being stunned by the complete and utter nonsense of the claims that are being made by the company’s owners.

They don’t object to including contraception in their health plan, but they object to including the morning-after pill (which is generally understood to be emergency contraception but which they have decided for themselves is actually an abortion-inducing drug):

“All they’re asking for is a narrow exemption from the law that says they don’t have to provide drugs they believe cause abortions,” Hobby Lobby attorney Kyle Duncan, a general counsel for the Becket Fund for Religious Liberty, told CNN affiliate KFOR in November. “Our basic point is the government can’t put a corporation in the position of choosing between its faith and following the law.”

The Supreme Court has rejected their request for an injunction while their lawsuit is pending, as they’re seeking a religious exemption but are not a religious organization. And so they say they’re prepared to pay fines of more than a million dollars a day after January 1 as they await the results of their lawsuit.

Here’s a handy chart with the stark differences between an emergency contraception pill and an abortion-inducing pill.

The bottom line is this: If you own a company and don’t understand how women’s bodies work, you might end up having to pay a million dollars a day to remain faithful to your understanding of what contraception means.