From the Onion:
LHASA, TIBET - Deng Hsu, 14, said Monday that he is “totally getting into Western philosophy.” “I’ve been reading a lot of Kant, Descartes, and Hegel, and it’s blowing my mind,” Hsu said. “It’s so exotic and exciting, not like all that Buddhist ‘being is desire and desire is suffering’ shit my parents have been cramming down my throat all my life. Most of the kids in my school have never even heard of Hume’s views on objectivity or Locke’s tabula rasa.” Hsu said he hopes to one day make an exodus to north London to visit the birthplace of John Stuart Mill.
This is going up on my office door.
Every once in a while, an idea comes along that changes the way we all look at ourselves forever. Before Descartes, nobody knew they were thinking. They all believed they were just mulling. Until Karl Marx, everyone totally hated one another but nobody knew quite why. And before Freud, nobody understood that all of humanity could be classified into one of two simple types: people who don’t yet know they want to sleep with their mothers, and people who already know they want to sleep with their mothers. These dialectics can change and shape who we are so profoundly, it’s hard to imagine life before the paradigm at all.
The same thing is true of Muppet Theory, a little-known, poorly understood philosophy that holds that every living human can be classified according to one simple metric: Every one of us is either a Chaos Muppet or an Order Muppet.
I have always identified with Kermit and was frustrated if the “Muppet Show” spent more than five seconds on Animal at any given time. I felt bad for Beaker every time he was blown up by Dr. Bunsen Honeydew. I am a classic Order Muppet.
My son, on the other hand, loves Ernie more than any other “Sesame Street” character, with Cookie Monster and Elmo alternating in second place (though Elmo was initially his favorite). But perhaps all two-year-olds are Chaos Muppets?
Read the full article: “What kind of Muppet are you, chaos or order?”