Four lessons to take away from last night’s verdict in the Zimmerman trial:
1. Always carry a gun. Guns keep you safe and there’s always going to be a situation that calls for pulling them out and waving them around, even if you have to manufacture such a situation yourself.
2. If someone suspicious is following you, don’t punch him; that’s called “being a thug” and is punishable by death. Shoot the guy to death instead; that’s called “standing your ground” and is entirely justifiable.
3. The above lessons don’t apply to people of color.
4. We live in a very, very sick country.