The Mom From 'The Cat in the Hat' Finally Speaks
Do you think you’d get less flak about the cat “event” if you were the dad?
I’ve got five words for you: Man With the Yellow Hat. “Hey George, you sit here on the chain-saw assembly line, I have to go run some errands.” “Hey George, be a good little monkey and clean up this hot lava while I play with my geode collection.”
To be fair, his “child” isn’t human.
To be fair, he’s a grown man walking around Manhattan in safari gear, leaving his pet to drive fire trucks into lakes and paint skyscrapers. And everyone thinks that’s hilarious. I’m just saying. A Woman With the Yellow Hat would be carted off to Chez Lunatic while the monkey gets to host “S.N.L.” or something.
Since our son is a huge Curious George fan, my wife and I talk about the problems of the Man with the Yellow Hat all the time at our house.
The guy travels to Africa, absconds with a monkey (who almost dies in transit back to the U.S.), keeps him in his house (after he gets locked in jail, escapes from jail, gets taken to the zoo, and then escapes from the zoo), and then routinely absents himself while the monkey consistently does all sorts of damage to people and property all over the city (as well as to himself).
First of all, what is the Man with the Yellow Hat doing with his time such that he can’t keep an eye on this monkey and that he can afford to pay for his apartment, his car, and the (at least occasional) use of a boat and a helicopter? Secondly, how is it possible that none of the crimes (both his and George’s) ever seem to catch up with him? And, finally, at what point will the Man with the Yellow Hat realize that George’s terrible behavior is really his just punishment for capturing a wild animal, putting it in a burlap sac, sailing it around the world, putting it in a pair of pajamas, giving it a pipe, and thereafter pretending it’s your friend?
That said, the mom from The Cat in the Hat doesn’t get to excuse her bad parenting by pointing the finger at someone else whose “parenting” is also bad. If you leave your kids at home in the care of a fish and a freaky huge cat breaks in and causes mayhem, that’s totally on you.