Politics=Funny

I just finished reading two really terrific pieces in the New York Times and knew, right away, that I had to share. Too funny to pass up.

The first one is about Conservative parents who are up in arms because the President of the United States wants to talk to their children. His message - allegedly - is about the virtues of working hard and staying in school. But the parents are pretty sure - and I’m guessing they have a lot of compelling evidence - that his real message will be about the many virtues of Socialism.

Here’s a good quote from the article, to give you a little flavor:

“The thing that concerned me most about it was it seemed like a direct channel from the president of the United States into the classroom, to my child,” said Brett Curtiss, an engineer from Pearland, Tex., who said he would keep his three children home.

“I don’t want our schools turned over to some socialist movement.”

The White House has said the speech will emphasize the importance of education and hard work in school, both to the individual and to the nation. The message is not partisan, nor compulsory, officials said.

“This isn’t a policy speech,” said Sandra Abrevaya, a spokeswoman for the Department of Education. “It’s designed to encourage kids to stay in school. The choice on whether to show the speech to students is entirely in the hands of each school. This is absolutely voluntary.”

So, yeah, I’m sure the parents have a better sense of what Obama plans to say. After all, we know you can’t trust the White House to tell you what the President’s message will be. We know, at least, that they probably can’t both be right. Then again, maybe this guy’s right:

Mark Steyn, a Canadian author and political commentator, speaking on the Rush Limbaugh show on Wednesday, accused Mr. Obama of trying to create a cult of personality, comparing him to Saddam Hussein and Kim Jong-il, the North Korean leader.

That seems reasonable. You know what’s definitely not reasonable? This:

“It’s difficult for me to understand how listening to the president, the commander in chief, the chief citizen of this country, is damaging to the youth of today,” said Phyllis Griffin Epps, an analyst for the city who has two children in public school.

Obviously, Phyllis Griffin Epps, you haven’t been paying attention to the similarities between Obama and Stalin. That’s why we’ve got people like Mark Steyn, to help you out.

But, anyhow, then there’s the second piece. It’s an opinion column about Virginia’s gubernatorial race and the decision by one candidate (Creigh Deeds, the Democrat, who seems to be losing badly) to use the twenty-year-old MA thesis of the other candidate (Robert McDonnell, the Republican, who wrote it at Pat Robertson’s university) against him. This is terrific for so many reasons. For example, in the thesis, McDonnell

said government policy should favor married couples over “cohabitators, homosexuals or fornicators.” He described as “illogical” a 1972 Supreme Court decision legalizing the use of contraception by unmarried couples.

Also, here’s part of an ad that Deeds is planning to put out:

Female: You startin’ to follow this Governor’s race in Virginia?

Male: You mean Bob McDonnell and his plans to take us back to the dark ages?

But, really, my biggest question is one that the author correctly brings up and one that I’m sure all of my graduate students are thinking: people actually read Master’s theses?!